There are millions of parenting books out there. Each one promising you that if you do things this way, or that way, that you’re sure to raise good kids.
With all this different advice being thrown around it’s hard to know what’s truly best for your kids.
I think the thing I’ve struggled with the most is finding an effective discipline method.
As a child I was spanked, with a belt, brush, coat hanger, stick, spoon, etc. I was given time outs, I was grounded, my things were taken away (including my door), and I was popped in the mouth with both a hand, and a bar of soap a time or two. 🖐🏻
Despite all of this, I don’t feel afraid of my mom even though she chose those methods of discipline. I don’t feel damaged or scarred by any of it. I know I was a mouthy kid, and I know I pushed my boundaries a lot. I also know being a parent is really really hard, and she did the best she could.
For my kids, I do want to do things differently.
But it’s hard to do things differently when your whole life you were shown that firm and immediate physical punishment or threat of it is the only way to discipline a child.
My kids test my limits, they push me up the wall sometimes, but they are kids. That’s just what they do. For me personally I work daily on being patient, and kind. Using a loving tone of voice, getting down on their level, and trying to see things through their perspective.
I fail a lot. I get short with them, use a harsh tone, and get aggravated easily sometimes when I am hungry or tired- or just overwhelmed. But not a day goes by that I don’t try.
Somewhere in the Bible it says that if you don’t discipline your children you hate them, or something along those lines. I do firmly agree with that, and I think that by showing your children that there are real consequences for their actions you prevent them from being entitled, and out of control later in life.
I don’t think there is just one method of discipline that works though. I think as the parent you know your child better than anyone else, so you just kind of have to follow your gut and do what you believe is the right thing.
Some practical tips that work for me, (keep in mind, my children are all under five), so I’m still learning everyday, are:
• Be consistent, no matter what you choose to do, keep at it. That way they know what is expected of them.
• Don’t parent out of guilt. Nobody wants to be the bad guy, but as their parent sometimes you’re gonna have to be, you can be their friend later in life.
• Parent the same in public as in private. This definitely goes for any discipline methods. Don’t let others staring at you stop you from getting down on your child’s level and letting them know they need to behave. However, I would recommend taking your child to the side to discipline them if possible, just to protect their hearts.
• Don’t compare. Your child, your life, or your parenting methods.
• If you discipline calmly, you will never look back with regret.
I would love to hear your thoughts or things that work in your household. What are your policies on discipline?
Till next time ❤️
• Less is Moore •