Discipline & Children

There are millions of parenting books out there. Each one promising you that if you do things this way, or that way, that you’re sure to raise good kids.

With all this different advice being thrown around it’s hard to know what’s truly best for your kids.

I think the thing I’ve struggled with the most is finding an effective discipline method.

As a child I was spanked, with a belt, brush, coat hanger, stick, spoon, etc. I was given time outs, I was grounded, my things were taken away (including my door), and I was popped in the mouth with both a hand, and a bar of soap a time or two. 🖐🏻

Despite all of this, I don’t feel afraid of my mom even though she chose those methods of discipline. I don’t feel damaged or scarred by any of it. I know I was a mouthy kid, and I know I pushed my boundaries a lot. I also know being a parent is really really hard, and she did the best she could.

For my kids, I do want to do things differently.

But it’s hard to do things differently when your whole life you were shown that firm and immediate physical punishment or threat of it is the only way to discipline a child.

My kids test my limits, they push me up the wall sometimes, but they are kids. That’s just what they do. For me personally I work daily on being patient, and kind. Using a loving tone of voice, getting down on their level, and trying to see things through their perspective.

I fail a lot. I get short with them, use a harsh tone, and get aggravated easily sometimes when I am hungry or tired- or just overwhelmed. But not a day goes by that I don’t try.

Somewhere in the Bible it says that if you don’t discipline your children you hate them, or something along those lines. I do firmly agree with that, and I think that by showing your children that there are real consequences for their actions you prevent them from being entitled, and out of control later in life.

I don’t think there is just one method of discipline that works though. I think as the parent you know your child better than anyone else, so you just kind of have to follow your gut and do what you believe is the right thing.

Some practical tips that work for me, (keep in mind, my children are all under five), so I’m still learning everyday, are:

• Be consistent, no matter what you choose to do, keep at it. That way they know what is expected of them.

• Don’t parent out of guilt. Nobody wants to be the bad guy, but as their parent sometimes you’re gonna have to be, you can be their friend later in life.

• Parent the same in public as in private. This definitely goes for any discipline methods. Don’t let others staring at you stop you from getting down on your child’s level and letting them know they need to behave. However, I would recommend taking your child to the side to discipline them if possible, just to protect their hearts.

• Don’t compare. Your child, your life, or your parenting methods.

• If you discipline calmly, you will never look back with regret.

I would love to hear your thoughts or things that work in your household. What are your policies on discipline?

Till next time ❤️

• Less is Moore •

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Wolves. 🌕

I once heard someone say, “Every single person alive has a war going on inside of them. The war is between two wolves. One wolf is anger, bitterness, resentment, lies, jealousy, and chaos. The other wolf is joy, peace, kindness, patience, love, hope, humility, and truth. The one you feed is the one who wins.”

Ever since I heard that I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. Then recently I was reading a blog on here, and the author of it was saying how people who are happy don’t go around talking badly about other people. Truly happy people don’t need to because what you say is a reflection of what you are feeling inside.

Things like that just make me think.

About the person I want to be, the things I choose to say, and the example I want to set for my children. In the past the wolf inside me filled with all those negative things has definitely won, more times than I would like to admit. Sometimes it’s discouraging thinking about how many times I have failed. Failed to speak only kindness, failed to be patient, failed to be loving.

I try to keep in mind that failures in life are what teach us. What shape and mold us into better and stronger human beings. Every night I sit up and think of how I can do better the next day, and I pray for strength and compassion.

I think a lot of people, myself included, have at one time or another thought of being a good person as simply a destination. As though you could just take certain steps and all of a sudden be a good person for life.

I now believe that being a good person is more like a job. You have to just work at it every single day. Some days you will do great, and some days you will fail. But every day is a new chance to change, and to keep working at the person you want to be.

I want to be kind.

Patient.

Loving.

I want to speak with grace, to listen more, to see the good in people.

To see the good in myself.

I guess in the end we are all just works in progress right? 🐢

• Less is Moore •

Alone but not lonely ðŸ¦‹

I see you.

Struggling.

Trying.

Hoping.

I see how hard you are working to try to keep everything afloat in your life. Bearing the weight of the world on your shoulders.

I also see him not doing his part.

I hear the pain in your voice, even when you try to disguise it with just being tired.

And I know you’re exhausted, but I also know it’s not just physical.

I know you’re mentally and emotionally drained. I know you want so badly for it to work, that you make excuses for him and his behavior.

For the poor choices he makes.

The nights he isn’t home.

I just want you to know you are worthy of so much more than what you are receiving. You are beautiful.

You are strong.

You are kind.

You are brilliant.

You are all of that and so much more, and it breaks my heart that you keep settling for these men that don’t see that. Then staying put. Refusing to go or to make them go even when you know you should.

I want you to trust me though when I say that it’s better to sleep alone, than with someone you can’t trust.

And that lying to everyone else is one thing, but when it gets to the point where you are lying to yourself, where do you draw the line?

You have secluded yourself, old friends you’ve spent your life loving no longer hear from you. Family members have drifted away, growing older, their children growing up without you.

Missing you.

I don’t know if you are afraid of being alone, or just afraid of the pain the final break will cause you. But I do know with almost certainty that the break will come.

I think you know it too.

And I pray that you are the one to cause it. To finally end it.

And I hope that when you do that you feel peace, joy, and freedom.

I hope you rebuild your bonds, recreate your life, and learn that being alone does not equate to loneliness.

I love you more than words could ever say, and I miss you.

Xo.

A girl who’s been in your shoes.

• Less is Moore •

Breastfeeding 🤱🏻

This is kind of one of those topics that has become taboo for moms to really speak too much on, but also one that is so near and dear to my heart. I couldn’t help but to post about it.

I have been breastfeeding since June of 2015, so three years in three months! I never could have imagined that I would be able to make it this far, but I am so happy and proud that I have. I made it through mastitis in one boob, attending college classes, working, a full pregnancy, and a breast lump removal surgery.

I did take the week before Landon was born off because Leah kept biting me and my stomach was so big! I didn’t want to wean her too quickly, or to traumatize her in anyway by forcing her to stop before she was ready. I also worried that she would harbor resentment toward Landon, so I waited and luckily she did wean herself in that final week before he arrived.

I honestly think it was more traumatic for me than for her to stop. Our relationship/bond has really revolved around her nursing, and I was so worried that it would somehow lessen when we stopped. Of course it didn’t, we still have such a special connection, which I think in part has a lot to do with her breastfeeding.

With Landon breastfeeding was easy, he latched on right away and has been going strong ever since. There have definitely been times when I wanted to give up and give him formula because I get so exhausted with the constant need that goes into breastfeeding a baby. The way it makes me feel seeing his little rolls though and knowing my body did that, just isn’t comparable, and looking at them keeps me going on the hard days.

Sometimes I just don’t want to be touched or laid on, sometimes I want to be by myself.. sometimes I just am sweaty and wanting to do just one thing without being interrupted. But I keep going.

The health benefits of breastfeeding are insane, it is so beneficial for your baby/child. There are reduced risks for SIDS, obesity, ear infections, allergies, etc. Breastfed babies respond better to immunizations, have better oral development, are protected against respiratory infections, and those are just a few of the long list of health benefits!

I could go on and on about my love for breastfeeding, but I will end this post by saying that breastfeeding has changed my life, and I am so pro booby! I really believe more women should breastfeed till at least six months, but I also acknowledge that not all women are able to.

Donor milk and pumping are excellent options for anyone wanting to feed their baby breast milk, but struggling! Breast is definitely best and I will always stand by that, I feel like the evidence behind that is impossible to argue with.

Anyways, if you want to share your breastfeeding journey with me I’d love to hear about it! Every single drop counts. ❤️

• Less is Moore •

Day in the life 1.

As a stay at home mom I do my best to make the most of each day, and to beat the stereotype of the mom with her hair in rollers, lounging on the couch eating bon bons.

What even are bon bons?? 😂

For the most part my days consist of the same skeleton of to dos, along with as many extras as I can cram in depending on the kids’ moods, the weather, etc.

I love watching videos on YouTube about “a day in the life”, and seeing how my day compares to other women out there in similar situations as me- stay at home moms, or moms in general. Which is what gave me the idea for this blog post.

Below I will include the “skeleton” of my day, or the things that are always on my to do list, and that I do everyday of the week. I will also include a few extras, and things that aren’t done every single day, but only occasionally.

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Daily Tasks 🕓

• Meals: breakfast, lunch, dinner, and my hubby’s lunch.

• Getting everyone including myself ready for the day, and ready for bed.

• Laundry.

• Taking our the garbage and recycling.

• Checking the mail, paying any bills that are due.

• Going room to room, cleaning up our house.

• Vacuuming, sweeping, and mopping the floors. (Usually I just spot check the floor and wipe any messes up with a rag, and do a full mop weekly.)

• School and arts and crafts.

• Story time.

• Getting food and water for all the animals, as well as cleaning the litter box.

• Cleaning and preparing our coffee pot for the following day.

• Updating the girls behavior charts.

• Bathing myself and my kids.

• Playtime- hands on play.

• Restocking any supplies, toilet paper, diapers, wipes, etc.

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Extras:

• Yard work. I try to get out and tidy the yard at least for a few minutes when it is sunny. 🌞

• Deep cleaning- I strive to get to the point where I can take a set 30 minutes a day to deep clean a room a day in my house, but at this point in my life I’m happy if I can just do 10 minutes!

• Exercise- I currently don’t but SOME day I hope to exercise daily!

• Time for me- beauty stuff, and time for hobbies. This is definitely something put on the back burner for now, but eventualllly it WILL be a daily thing. 🎀

• Getting out of the house 🏠 I love doing this, the library is our go to place, but with three kids, one of them breastfed, this doesn’t always happen.

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I feel so lucky to be able to stay home with my children, so I really try to put my everything into it. I try to bless my children and husband daily, whether it be a platter of fresh cookies, clean bedding, or laid out clothes after their showers, I try to help as much as I can.

I would love to hear from other moms, whether stay at home, or working, on what your days consist of!

Till next time ❤️

• Less is Moore •

Anxiety ☔️

Days like today are so strange for me. Everything is going fine, there is nothing bad or troubling going on in my life, yet I feel this weight.

It’s like a throbbing in my temples, pressure on my chest, weight. All day I have felt shaky, on edge, and like my heart is beating too fast.

I guess it’s just anxiety, which I know a lot of moms deal with, but even knowing that doesn’t really help me to feel less anxious or guilty for feeling this way in the first place.

The problem with anxiety is that no one else can see it. It’s not a physical issue, it’s just this thing inside of you, this inner chaos threatening to ruin even should be peaceful days.

This invisible monster that you just have to battle against, repeatedly assuring yourself that everything is okay, taking deep breaths, and hoping it will eventually go back to whatever dark place it came from.

For any other moms who have felt this way, what do you do to feel better?

How do you kind of equalize the pressure you feel inside? What are some things you do to avoid anxiety/stress, and what are your triggers? I will include a few of mine below and I look forward to reading yours!

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Triggers:

• Crowded places

• Unexpected visitors, or plans

• Driving in crowded place or people with road rage.

• Lots of loud noise all at once

• Walking in parking lots with my kids

• Messes

Ways I handle anxiety/ things that help:

• Food

• Sleep

• Organizing my house

• Reading, blogging, crochet, or puzzles

• Bubble baths

• Cuddling with my kids or talking to people I love

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Sometimes it’s just nice to know we aren’t alone, even when anxiety makes us feel like we are.

YOU are not your anxiety. Keep going momma ❤️

• Less is Moore •

Stay at home moms â¤ï¸

Being a stay at home mom has been a crazy journey for me, and one I never could have imagined I would ever go on.

When I was younger my dreams and goals definitely didn’t revolve around poopy butts and nap times. I wanted a career, a studio apartment of my own, and a booming bank account.

The main thing booming in my house now.. are the growing piles of laundry waiting to be taken out, or my children’s tempers when I tell them no.

Oh how the times have changed.

Although this isn’t what I would have imagined for myself, it’s funny- because it’s the perfect fit for me.

Crazy how life works out huh?

I am a natural caregiver, which is strange because I’m also extremely introverted and I don’t enjoy being touched too often.

Parenting means constantly being touched and never being alone. But I LOVE it- most of the time.😂

My days revolve around trying to teach, play with, feed, clean, entertain, and care for my children- while also maintaining my house and making sure my marriage thrives.

Some days I am wildly successful- everyone likes the meals, the kids are well behaved, and the house is tidy. Those are my favorite days.

Some days I struggle to even throw a pizza in the oven, and it feels like I’m drowning in the needs of everyone else around me. Those days are the worst.

I think the hardest thing about being a stay at home mom is definitely everyone who tells you you’re not really working, or contributing to the world in any way.

People don’t really say it outright (not to your face anyways) but social media has made it easier for people to spread such ugly opinions, which can REALLY hurt.

I’ve come to a point in my life where I’ve just come to accept that although I don’t make a paycheck, I am doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m raising good people, I’m taking care of my family, and that IS my part.

My contribution.

All the mundane things I do, and all the stay at home moms do daily, adding up to the biggest paycheck of all- a solid family, safe and happy children, and millions of irreplaceable memories.

So if you’re like me, and your life is kind of “on hold” right now, dreams and goals paused to raise up your family in your home, give yourself a pat on the back. You are doing what is best for your family, and in the end you can always make money. These moments and memories with our children are not something you get back.

So often we forget that it is a blessing as well as a luxury to be able to stay home. It may not always feel like it, but it really is, and it’s one some women pray they could have.

So hold those babies, keep doing what you’re doing, and the next time you question if what you’re doing is enough I want you to to smoosh your face against those sweet little faces you created, and just breathe.

After all, life’s short not to be happy. 🦋.

• Less is Moore •

Self care ☀️

As mothers, often times the care of others takes precedence over the care of ourselves. It gets to the end of each day and you look back and realize you haven’t even touched your brush.

Two days go by and it isn’t till your husband notices your hairy legs that you realized you haven’t shaved in a week.

As a mother to three crazy little ones I often look back on the times when I could so easily just hop in the bath, or lie down for an afternoon nap, and sigh.

How I took it for granted.

Nowadays I do try to do certain things to make myself feel sane, and well… human. I figured I’d share with anyone interested, and I’d love to hear what you do as well!

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• One of my biggest ways to just relax is to take a nice hot bubble bath! I love to just lay down and relax, and if there’s a fizzy bath bomb included that a plus.

• Crochet. Currently I am working on a blanket for my daughter Leah! I feel like as far as hobbies go crochet is probably the best anxiety reliever I have discovered yet. Something about working with your hands to make something for someone else is just therapeutic.

• Catching up on beauty stuff. Just taking the time to sit down and do my eyebrows, paint my nails and toes, or straighten my hair makes me feel so good. Probably because of how rarely it happens. 🤷🏻‍♀️

• Reading 📖 I have always loved reading, but since I am going on my third year of breastfeeding I get a lot of “down” time. I used to get anxious just sitting there nursing, because I really try not to just sit and scroll on my phone, but a library card changed all of that. Currently I am reading a Stephen King novel and every time I open the book it’s like I fall into another world.

• Jigsaw puzzles. Working on a pretty farm scene currently! My girls love to sit down and do puzzles while I do them which is an added bonus.

• Adult coloring books,📚 so much fun to sit down with the kids and create something beautiful. I also enjoy art in general, and calligraphy.

• Writing ✍️ whether it be on my blog, daily lists, or in my journal, writing just keeps me sane.

• Organizing. It sounds weird but sitting down and organizing my house uninterrupted (haha) is one of my favorite things to do.

• Movies 🎥 I love a good film, and although it’s rare that I can watch one all the way through anymore, I still love watching them!

• Consignment store shopping! All time favorite thing. It’s like a treasure hunt!

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As well as including the things I like to do currently I figured I would also make a short list of some hobbies I would like to take up for myself.

• Scrapbooking.

• Sewing, knitting, embroidery.

• Gardening.

• I would love to join a women’s group with a local church or a charity of some sort!

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Overall, my hobbies and ideas of self care have changed so immensely since having children it really amazes me! Sometimes I feel like I have completely changed, but I guess that’s to be expected after giving birth to three little humans.

No matter what you enjoy doing, make sure as a mom that you make time for it. Even if it’s ten minutes a day, take time to take care of you! It will make you a better mother, wife, and person. I so look forward to reading about what YOU do in your “down” time. 😊

• Less is Moore •

A letter of love to my son ðŸ»ðŸ’™

My sweet, sweet boy, as I look down into your baby blue eyes, staring up at me with such innocence, my heart breaks a little.

It breaks because you are my final baby, my only boy, and because someday not far from now you won’t be so little anymore.

Your tiny fist clings to one of my fingers, you nestle against my chest, and it feels like we are one. I wish I could bottle this moment and keep it with me forever.

Unfortunately, I can’t keep you little forever, and the day will come when you decide you are too big or too cool for me.

Until then I will hold you tight, I will be there for you even when you are at your crankiest, I will protect you, and always, I will love you like no one else ever can.

I’m not a man, so it’s hard for me to give you advice on how to be one. I have hopes for you, and the man you will become, but above all else, I just hope you are always happy.

I hope that you are a good man. The kind of man who keeps his word, and follows through. I hope you are hardworking, and dependable. I hope you are loyal, and kind. I hope you make smart decisions, even when they aren’t the “cool” decisions. I hope you always stand up for the underdog. I hope you take school and learning seriously.

I hope you love hard, but never feel the need to force love, or chase it if not given freely. I hope you always know what you stand for, and hold strong to your values. I hope you are disciplined, and patient. I hope you are a good friend. I hope you are honest and funny.

I hope someday when you meet the woman you will be with, that you love her fiercely. I pray that you choose someone who deserves you, and sees how amazing you are. Who treats you right. I hope beyond all hopes that I provide a good enough example to you of what to look for.

Although I am not a man, and cannot give you step by step advice on how to be one, I can give you some practical advice 😊

• Wear a belt, nobody wants to see your britches.

• Keep your nails trimmed.

• Always hold the door, give up your seat, and stand on the side closest to the road for a lady.

• If there’s work to be done, don’t wait to be asked. Help out.

• It’s okay to be gentle, it does not make you weak. In fact it makes you stronger.

• Being comfortable with yourself, and confident, (not cocky), is the thing that will make you more handsome than even your blue eyes and blonde hair. ❤️

• You protect your family. Always.

• Don’t make permanent decisions on temporary feelings.

• You keep your hands to yourself. BUT you protect yourself if you have to.

• It’s not just a girls job to pick up, I’m raising you better than that. Pick up after yourself and do your part.

• Tell the truth, even if you’re scared.

• Say you’re sorry, don’t ever let your pride get bigger than you are.

• Do the right thing, even if no one is around to see, and don’t brag about it.

And just know, that no matter what, I love you so very much. There’s nothing that could ever stop me from loving you or being there for you, to support you, and be proud of you. I am forever your biggest fan Landon Daniel.

XO, mom.

• Less is Moore •