Today I feel overwhelmed.

I keep finding myself browsing through my phone, I feel rushed, unmotivated, and exhausted.

Maybe that’s just a normal thing for Wednesday’s? We’re halfway through the week, and full swing into the chaos that is motherhood. I long for the weekend when my husband will be around more, and I will have an adult to spend time with.

It’s crazy how monotonous the days can get with only children to talk to, and also how lonely.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love these sweet children of mine. I would be lost without them, and I know everyday that I am lucky to be their mother. Sometimes it’s just a lot.

Sometimes I long for the silence I only find when they are sleeping. Sometimes I dream about a small cottage, right on the beach, my books, and only my thoughts to keep me company.

I guess me being such an introvert probably doesn’t help the situation.

My mom likes to tell the story of how even when I was a small child I wouldn’t go to sleep with anyone touching me. I would just bundle up with my blanket on the floor, pulled over my head, and pass out. I guess I’ve carried that trait into adulthood because I still struggle with not wanting to be touched a lot and feeling so anxious when everyone is grabbing at me at once. Which seems to happen about every ten minutes,

I don’t mean to sit and complain, I guess writing is just how I vent. Release the pressure I am feeling inside, the way some people run or binge eat.

I know that tonight as I close my eyes, listening to the sounds of my family breathing peacefully, lost in dreams, I will long for them and the noise they fill our home with. Then the morning will come, and the chaos will begin again, and I will succumb to it. Feeling both overwhelmed with the mess and the love that seems to seep into every pore of my being, all thanks to these crazy little humans.

It’s funny how life works, the things that drive us craziest are the ones we can’t live without.



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momma of three • happily married • PNW living • introvert • 25

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