Isn’t it crazy how serious becoming parents makes us?
Everything suddenly becomes so much more intense, so much more important. We suddenly take everything so much more to heart, because we become in charge of- in the most literal sense, another person’s whole life.
I think this is a big reason why the divorce rate, and the amount of single parents has increased. No one wants to be serious anymore, commitment is pretty much a thing of the past for most people, and there’s nothing fun or care free about broken up sleep for three days and your partner not getting up with the baby. That’s when the resentment starts.
Once that little seed of resentment is planted, you’d be surprised at how quickly it grows and sprouts off into other parts of our relationships. It’s relatively easy to try to nip it in the bud when it starts, and work against that initial feeling of anger and bitterness- but when it grows, and more issues arrive and go unaddressed then it gets a little bit more serious.
Parenting is serious work, don’t get me wrong, I know that as much as the next person. Coming from someone who has spent too much time taking things too seriously since becoming a mom, it’s not the way to be. Not only is it bad for your health, but it teaches your kids to be stressed out too, and it pushes your partner away.
Not everything is the end of the world, not everything needs to be talked out, or nagged about.
I remember a time when I was as wild as a storm (also as destructive). I went where I wanted, when I wanted. I jumped off cliffs into water, swam in the rain, camped on the mountains, and slept by the glow of a campfire. I wasn’t worried about anything, I was just so young and free of responsibilities.
Somewhere along the road that all changed, and I’m glad it did, because I think a parent should be steady, grounded and stable. But I do miss how fun I was, and how much more laid back I was about things.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be that person again, age and children have definitely changed me, but I work daily on becoming more easy going. On not taking life so seriously, on letting go of the little stuff, and not worrying about stuff I can’t control. Life is definitely too short to waste being stressed out.
How has becoming an adult or parent changed your life? Do you ever miss who you used to be? Are you happier with who you are now?
• Less is Moore •